Unmasking Self-Sabotage: Three Patterns Holding You Back

Jul 09, 2024

Today, I want to dive into a topic that's been buzzing around my conversations with clients. It's all about self-sabotage—something that sneaks into our lives and holds us back from achieving our dreams. 

I've noticed three distinct self-sabotaging mechanisms that seem to recur frequently, and today I want to share them with you.


1. The Waiting Position

One of the most common self-sabotage patterns is what I call the "Waiting Position." You know the drill—you wait for the perfect moment, thinking you're not ready to be visible or market your business just yet. This waiting is rooted in a fear of growth. Growth challenges our current mental and emotional states, pushing us out of our comfort zones. However, waiting only keeps us stagnant.

Here's the thing: competence is built by doing, not waiting. Building a business isn't about endlessly reading books or planning; it's about diving in, getting your hands dirty, and learning through experience. So, if you find yourself stuck in the waiting game, it's time to take that first step, no matter how imperfect it may feel.


2. Indirect Action

The second self-sabotage mechanism is indirect action. This is when you focus on areas adjacent to your primary goal instead of directly working on it. For example, you might be keen on growing your business but find yourself spending excessive time renovating your house or getting in shape.

While these secondary goals are important, they can divert your energy from what truly needs your attention. Indirect action often feels productive but can be deceptive. You might build a new website or create another course when you already have products to sell, but these activities can pull you away from the crucial task of selling and growing your business. Direct action is key to transformation.


3. Overworking

The third pattern is overworking—something I see often, especially among those who lean heavily into their masculine energy. Overworking leads to burnout, neglecting self-care, intuition, and genuine connections. While hard work can yield results, it's often unsustainable and detrimental to other areas of your life, including your health and mental well-being.

Success achieved through sheer hard work can come at a high cost. Balance is essential for long-term success and overall well-being. Incorporating self-care and listening to your intuition can help you avoid burnout and maintain a sustainable pace.


Breaking the Patterns

Breaking these self-sabotage patterns requires radical self-awareness and honesty. Instead of asking, "Do I self-sabotage?" ask, "How do I self-sabotage?" Embrace radical self-support and self-love. Recognize your patterns and consciously choose empowering actions.

For instance, if you're in a waiting position, identify specific actions that will propel you forward. If you're caught in indirect actions, shift your focus to the primary goal. If you're overworking, prioritize self-care and balanced actions.

Transformation involves soft discipline and a lot of self-love. Support yourself through discomfort, knowing that growth lies beyond resistance. By taking direct, empowered actions, you can achieve a sense of ease and flow in both your business and life.


Final Thoughts

Self-sabotage is a universal experience, especially for those dedicated to personal and business growth. Radical honesty and self-awareness are your greatest allies on this journey. Identify your patterns and commit to transformative, direct actions.

I would love to hear from you—does this resonate with you? Which self-sabotage pattern do you recognize in yourself? For me, waiting has been a familiar hurdle, along with occasionally doing the wrong things. But overworking? I’ve learned to sidestep that one. What about you? Share your experiences with me on Instagram.


See you next week!


Until next time ⭐️

Warmly, Mia

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